Well last month I had a birthday didn’t I? A pretty big one I’d say…I mean it wasn’t 18 or 21 or 50…but I turned over a decade. I’ll admit, I thought nothing of it. Everyone said that “30 is the new 20” and “you’ll find your first gray hair that morning” but I don’t know…a birthday isjust that to me.
My friends and I had planned a trip to Atlantic City, New Jersey and it was going to get my mind off things and jump start my long vacation. I was just going to get away and, to be quite honest, it was well needed. I’ve been kind of running myself into the ground lately…but at the same time that level of busy feels normal. Does that make sense?
It was taking this vacation that gave me time to sit and think.
I’ll be first to admit that having time to sit and think is not my favorite place to be.I’m an introvert. That keeps to myself and deals with me internally. And I don’t know if it was the fact that I had time off, had turned 30, or was spending waaaay to much time with my family but- I was starting to actually panic. All of a sudden I began to realize things like I’ve been out of high school/ college for x amount of years or I thought I’d be at this stage of my life by now. Just random things that had never really popped up in my head before and now…it’s like running along the headlines rolling behind my eyes like movie credits. Then you think of those dumb pacts you used to make “if I’m not married and you’re not married at 30…we’ll get married ok?” I mean it’s just funny to think of now. I’m not sure I think I’m just rambling at this point.
So that’s pretty much where I am right now. It’s all kind of subsided (not fully) and I don’t fully feel like myself but- I’m getting there. I have a lot of half written post that I’m hoping to schedule and have for you guys but I just kind of wanted to let ya’ll know what’s up.
Especially since I’d started getting really back into things and then- nada.
Hope you’re all doing well and hope to be chittychatt’n with you all soon!